


Desperate Souls

by Nashuuna



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nashuuna/pseuds/Nashuuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Alistair gave up his life for the Inquisition. It was right thing to do and everyone accepted his sacifice. Everyone except one particular woman who actually couldn't. A broken woman seeking peace only to find solace in arms of equally broken man. Because desperate souls always attract each other..."</p><p>A very complex story. About loosing one love in favour of another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperate Souls

~~~*~~~

* * *

 

It was a quiet day for the Inquisitor. Filled with paperwork and meetings with various dignitaries, mostly boring and lately very familiar stuff. By now Shilah Trevelyan got used to such daily routine after their final battle with Corypheus and ultimate victory. Sure there were minor excitements like Leliana being declared as a new Divine Victoria and her leaving the Inquisition to fulfill her new duties, rarely expeditions into the wilderness with her friends dragging her out of Skyhold when they felt particularly bored or her favourite passionate nights with Cullen. But all those little pleasures were not enough to satisfy the Inquisitor. When she thought about it, she realized only one month passed since the dread battle and her whole life has already changed so dramatically. One damn month to downgrade her from the fierce fighter, great hero and mighty Herald of Andraste to simple and boring politician, leader of the organisation occupied now with clearing the whole mess all around Free Marches and Ferelden.

 

Shilah was sitting in her chamber contemplating how miserable her life has become and decided that this day will be the most boring one since... ever. Apparently she couldn't be more wrong and found out her mistake a moment later when suddenly the door to her chamber flung open with a great force. An unfamiliar intruder appeared out of nowhere and stormed inside catching her by surprise, not giving time to react or defend.

 

A woman, because the aggressor was clearly one, clenched her fingers around Trevelyan's neck and lifted her a few inches up. She had a fiery red hair that looked like it was fire itself, flowing and creating some kind of red halo around her head accompanied with equally red eyes. Aggressive, almost mad eyes that looked at the Inquisitor with such fury mixed with something close to agony, that Shila was kinda scared despite herself. The woman looked like she was possessed by some demon, radiating with utter rage. Trevelyan tried to fight back. Wriggling and kicking her legs but her aggressor stood immovable. She even tried to use her magic, grabbing other woman's hand and trying to burn her but it was nothing compared to the destructive force the Redhead was representing.

 

"YOU KILLED HIM!" The fierce woman finally snapped tightening her grip.

 

Trevelyan didn't understand her. Mind clouding because of extending lack of oxygen, she started to drifting away, when suddenly more people stormed inside her chamber.

 

"SORVINA STOP!" Cried a familiar male voice and then she saw Cullen accompanied by Dorian, Varric and Morrigan, rushing to the Redhead and tearing her off Shilah. It actually took all of them to do it.

Fortunately Dorian was quick enough to catch his falling friend when her legs gave her out. She was surprised hearing Cullen talking to that woman, begging her to calm down and be reasonable instead of bleeding her out for trying to kill her. And after a few moments she heard that woman crying, whimpering incoherent words intelligible only for herself.

 

Then Cullen showed up again. He spoke a few significant words to Dorian who left as soon as the blonde man finished saying them. Finally she heard one last commotion behind the door and then the whole place fell silent.

 

" _What the hell just happened_?!" She thought to herself when a strong embrace pulled her out of her thoughts.

 

"Are you all right my love?" Cullen asked clearly concerned, closely examining her for any sign of serious hurt.

 

"Who was that woman?" Trevelyan rasped, coughing and clearing her throat. Now that it was all over, she was starting to get really angry. " _How dare that woman storm into my chamber like that? How dare she treating me like that_?!" Blood was now boiling in her veins and seeing Cullen still being silent she snapped "answer me, Cullen! You know that woman! You called her by name!"

 

"You need to calm down..."

 

"How can I even calm down?! Andraste's tits, that bitch tried to kill me! How can YOU be so calm about that?!"

 

"You don't understand..."

 

"Of course I don't! Be my guest to clarify or I'm going to behead that bitch this instance!"

 

"Stop calling her like that... She's..."

 

"SHE'S WHAT...?!"

 

"She's the Hero of Ferelden!"

 

Cullen's last words were like a strong punch in the face. A sudden realization hit her with such force, she needed to support her weigh leaning against the wall. How could she been so stupid? That name... Of course she never saw the famous woman in person but she heard thousands of stories about her. After all, she was not only the hero of a whole nation but also to herself. She admired her greatly. A woman, a mage who has not only overcome a Blight but has turned upside down the fate of all mages, something that her cousin Hawke with her crazy lover Anders turned later into a massive revolution.

 

Sorvina Amell. More like an idol than an actual person.

 

" _You killed him..._ " those three words echoed in Shilah's head summoning an image before her eyes. A face of smiling, telling lame jokes but also brave and charming man who sacrificed himself to help them escape the Fade. A man who spoke about one particular woman with such warmth and love, who wished to reunite with her after all that mess, who promised to come back to her only to never fulfill that promise, because of the Inquisitor's decision. After all she made the final choice, right? She chose him instead of Hawke to stay and fight. It was her fault. She thought she was doing the right thing. She WAS responsible.

 

Shilah's former anger dissolved as sudden as it came. She wanted to cry but she found herself unable to do so. Instead she saw the whole thing painfully clear now. She took from the Redhead everything she hold dear. Her friend, her companion, her... love. Trevelyan looked at Cullen who was silently watching her the whole time. She thought about what would she do if she ever lost him and even the mere idea of it gave her heart a painful ache. And for the Inquisitor it only meant one thing...

 

That the pain Sorvina Amell was experiencing now had to be impossible to stand.

 

"It was MY fault..." Trevelyan whispered mortified.

 

Cullen immediately rushed to her side and hugged her tightly.

 

"No, it's not" he spoke softly stroking her back "it was Corypheus who was responsible alongside that nightmare demon, but not you. You had no other choice."

 

"I could have stayed! It could have been me or..."

 

"Or Hawke? No! Whoever it was, there would always been someone left hurting. Mourning the one who was sacrificed. And as far as I know, Alistair would have never forgiven himself if it was you, the only one able to save the rest or his lover's cousin. I spoke with Cole. He told me Alistair has made up his mind to do what he did. He felt it as his duty, not only as a Warden but also as a man. He was hurting but wanted to do the right thing."

 

"But this is so unfair!" Shilah finally burst into tears. She was shaking violently, spasms of sorrow preventing her to remain calm. "She is the true hero! She sacrificed so much to save the whole Thedas. I'm nothing compared to her and I have everything. I even was so ungrateful to question my happiness this morning while she lost something so important!"

 

"You're right my love, it is very unfair but again it is not your fault. You're not the one to blame. And I think she knows it. Believe me... If she wanted to kill you, she would have done it immediately after she broke into your chamber. She was just angry. In great pain and unable to think properly, not sure how to deal with her loss but not vengeful. "

 

In that she could believe. If Amell really came here to kill her, she would be dead by now. The force, whole destructive power that was radiating from the Redhead was absolutely fearsome and almost scared the shit out of her. Trevelyan was more than convinced that if she were with them during the battle with Corypheus, Sorvina would defeat him alone without even blinking. Damn, she was almost sure the woman would stop another Blight all by herself, tearing the Archdemon and his army of darkspawn with bare hands. The stories about the almost god-like might of the famous Hero of Ferelden were not so much exaggerated as she thought they were. And because all of that, not so mighty now Inquisitor felt even worse.

 

"Where have they taken her?" Shilah asked suddenly realising the Redhead they were talking about was still in the Skyhold.

 

"Morrigan insisted she'll take care of her. As far as I know both of them are close friends since the Blight. I almost regret that Leliana isn't here 'cause she would have been a great help too. I also knew Amell once but it was not a close relationship so I suppose I won't be able to help as much as the witch can. Still I asked Dorian and Varric if they can do something in the matter. I think they both have very specific personalities that are able to influence people in a good way. Plus Dorian is a mage too so I believe he will approach her more easily than me, being a former templar."

 

Trevelyan was listening to him but not quite hearing what was he saying. After he finished she looked him straight in the eyes and stated "I want to talk with her".

 

"What? You don't know what you are talking about! Of course you two should talk and work out this whole matter but not now! Not so soon! Give her time. Let Morrigan calm her so she can..."

 

"NO" she interrupted him. "I must do it now. I owe her that much. I will bear her anger. This is the right thing to do."

 

"I see... Let's go then."

 

~~~*~~~

* * *

 

They walked in silence. She was trying to come up with the best way to approach the Redhead and he was thinking about how would all of this end. Moreover both of them were scared. When they reached Morrigan's chamber, Dorian was standing outside looking a little aghast.

 

"What is she doing here?" He asked not believing his eyes.

 

"She wants to talk with Amell. And before you ask, I tried to convince her it's not a good idea. She won't listen." Commander responded suddenly feeling really tired.

 

"Oh, so she really wish to be killed despite our effort? How brilliant..."

 

"You know guys I'm standing right here?" Inquisitor asked not amused with Dorian's sarcastic remark but the tevinter mage only shrugged rolling his eyes.

 

"And where's Varric?" Cullen asked changing subject.

 

"He decided that it will do the mighty Hero well if he try to bring Hawke here. After all they're family and this is a good time for a little family reunion. He went to write some letters as he said and promised to come and try to cheer up the poor thing later. I wanted to help too but the witch didn't let me in. She said she'll handle it herself but I stayed here just in case."

 

Dorian was clearly dissatisfied that he was denied any further significant role it the affair. Was it out of boredom or because of the kind and caring nature of his, Commander couldn't tell, instead he nodded in acknowledgement and looked at his love. Shilah looked determined and very convinced. He knew once she made up her mind she would never falter.

 

Sighting heavily Cullen knocked on the door and they waited for Morrigan to show up. A few moments later the brunette opened and looked at all of them. Surprised to see the Inquisitor she left her chamber and closed the door behind her.

 

"What is it Inquisitor?"

 

"I want to talk with her" Shilah replied simply.

 

"Pardon me Inquisitor, but I don't think it's a wise..."

 

"Morrigan, please! I don't want to argue about it with you too. Just let me. Trust me, I'll handle it this time" she interrupted the other woman, feeling already too tired of arguing.

 

The brunette studied her for a while and then without a word stepped aside. Trevelyan gave her a quick nod of gratitude and after taking a deep breath, she entered the room.

 

What she saw inside was not a monstrous force that scared her before but a petite woman, just as herself, sitting on the bed, face in her hands, sobbing quietly. Shilah waited in silence for the other woman to become aware of her presence and when Amell lifted her head to look at the Inquisitor she was clearly startled.

 

"Y-you..." she stammered jumping to her feet and looking at Shilah not quite believing her eyes.

 

"I think we should talk..." Said the Inquisitor and took her chance to come a bit closer.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if it worth continuing...  
> What can I say? It's a complex story with a very unique non-canon couple. My very own ship...  
> Dorian Pavus with a female Warden Amell.  
> It's an idea that plagued my mind for a long time before I decided to put it into words and make a story of it.  
> And for the potential haters, please let me explain...  
> I'm well aware that Dorian is created by Bioware as a unique romance option for males only. I'm not an enemy of homosexuality and I respect people that like him only that way but also as a woman who happened to be hopelessly attracted to him as a character, I was really sad that he couldn't be at least bisexual so I could romance him with my female Inquisitor.  
> But then another issue showed up. My own tragedy when I was forced to choose between Alistair and Hawke. With heavy heart I sacrificed Alistair and was left wondering about the reaction of the Warden. Her own tragedy.  
> This story is just the effect of my imaginativeness.


End file.
